I was spending a little time with a friend, yesterday afternoon, being naked and rubbing all over each other. It started with a foot rub. I love my feet rubbed. It completely relaxes me. The foot rubbing progressed into the licking of my toes. I have never fancied myself a lover of having my toes licked. But, shutthefuckup, I am! He lightly licked the side of my foot, up to my big toe and slurped it into his gorgeous mouth. I felt my cunt get tight. This was one of the hottest things I have EVER had done to me. I swear. I found myself gasping and moaning. And watching him do it and to see that he was completely into it, jacked me up further. Big toe. Then the next. And the next. His warm, soft mouth was licking and sucking my toes and I’m TOTALLY turned on. I reach inside of my pants and start to rub my clit. I think I came instantly. I’m fairly sure that I might have cum if I hadn’t ever touched myself – it was that hot.
I had to get my hands on this man’s cock. He unzipped his pants and exposed his beautiful self. Yummy. A few long strokes with my mouth led to a very deep throated sucking. He ran his hands through my hair and pulled my head down on him gently so he could enjoy having the head of his cock sliding against the top of my esophagus. “Oooohhhh, baby.”
We piled onto the bed, where we proceeded to slide all over each other in our dripping sweat, kissing gently in-between strokes. It was awesome. Hell. It’s always awesome to have a rockin’ fuck session. I wanted to taste him and began to kiss him all over, while he stroked his cock. I love to watch a man touch himself. With every soft kiss and nipple lick I gave him, he was closer and closer to orgasm. When he was ready to blow, he murmured, “baby, come get it.” My mouth slid over his gorgeousness and sucked two strokes when he came, HARD, in my mouth.
Just when she thinks she’s picked up all pieces
of her broken heart, a misstep across
the kitchen floor finds one more shard ready,
willing, and able to pierce the soft flesh.
She questions, cries. Alone for the first time,
uncertainty lurks in every corner.
Each groan of rafters, creak of the floor boards
becomes a ghost walking through and stopping.
With each drop of blood on cracked tile, she feels
his promises, elusive as the wind,
come back and disappear just as they did
before, when he shattered both love and trust.
He watches from outside the circle of
her warmth, offers solace, comfort, passion
– not for her, not now – as she stumbles on
the memories scattered through their house – once home.
She pulls pictures from frames, throws paint on walls
to cover images of love-making
cast there by candles lit, now long gone out,
passion and desire – following suit.
With each stroke of color, she heals again,
a naked canvas, new life, waiting for her.
It’s been a while since I’ve updated things, we’ve been pretty busy but it’s starting to ease up.
My wife and I always sleep nude now, wearing anything in bed is just so uncomfortable. She goes naked around the house a lot more these days, though she still tends to keep her underwear on.
We’ve had our friend who joined us on the beach over a few times since that trip. She’s now fine with me and my wife being nude and she’s gone a couple of times in just her underwear but our place is a bit too chilly for her to be comfortable completely naked right now. Oddly enough, once winter hits she’ll be more comfortable because we’ll have the heat turned on. We’re still hoping to make some nudist friends in our area or convert our current friends to nudism.
Marisa Miller began to undress more than ever this summer, getting to use her natural assets to sell both magazines and books. The gorgeous blond has posed naked for GQ magazine and for a book entitled “Room 23″.
It’s about a very commercial book signed by Diana Jenkins. The book is full of photos with some of the most controversial and best-paid U.S. stars.
Along with Marisa Miller appears also George Clooney, but with his clothes on. Instead, Victoria’s Secrets model strips completely in the bathroom, teasing the viewers with a bubble bath, leaving a message on the mirror and gratefully receiving the sunlight on her perfect skin.
Britney Jean Spears (born December 2, 1981) is an American singer and entertainer. Born in Mississippi and raised in Louisiana, Spears first appeared on national television in 1992 as a contestant on the Star Search program, and went on to star in Disney Channel’s television series The New Mickey Mouse Club from 1993 to 1994 with fellow singer Christina Aguilera and Justin Timberlake. In 1997, Spears signed a recording contract with Jive, releasing her debut album …Baby One More Time in 1999. The album debuted at number one on the Billboard 200 with over 25 millions copies sold, and established her as a pop icon and “bona fide pop phenomenon”, credited for influencing the revival of teen pop in the late 1990s.[2]
In the years following her ascent to pop superstar, Spears’s personal life has been a frequent subject of celebrity and tabloid journalism. Spears has been married twice, most notably to Kevin Federline, has two children, and was the subject of a reality TV show with Federline in Britney & Kevin: Chaotic.
According to Zomba Label Group and Sony Music, Spears has sold over 84 million albums worldwide.[3][4][5] She is ranked as the eighth best-selling female recording artist in the U.S. with 35 million copies of her albums certified by the RIAA,[6] and is currently the fifth best-selling artist act of the decade in the country, as well as the top-selling female artist.[7] Spears is also ranked by Forbes 2009 issue as the 13th most powerful celebrity, and with earnings of over $35 million dollars in 2009, the 2nd-highest earning young musician of the year.[8][9]
i don’t even know where the fuck they broke the paragraphs in this shit. copying and pastying from micrsoft fucking word is lamebrained operation thank you. here’s your goodies:
In the end, sorry to say, ‘Jennifer’s Body’ is forgettable. Because it’s actually charming in many ways. It’s a tale about a demon possessed high school girl and her best friend. The possessed is Jennifer, a popular high school hottie, and a real boy eater-upper. The best friend is the descriptively named Needy, a dowdy, innocent girl content to ride Jennifer’s coattails into fun, adult situations. But remember, these aren’t adults. It’s made abundantly clear that these girls are merely in high school and only just coming to understand the power of their feminine bodies. When the girls head out to a local bar to check out an indie rock band from the sophisticated city, it’s a beginning of a nightmare for them both. An electrical fire sets the bar aflame, and as it burns to the ground, the smarmy lead singer invites Jennifer to take a ride in the band’s van. Needy pleads with her not to go, but Jennifer is grown up, and desires to leave girlish regulations behind. The movie is layered with metaphor. It’s pretty clear that the fateful ride in the band van is a metaphor for sexual trauma which is itself used as a metaphor for the destruction of innocence that comes from trying to grow up too fast. Jennifer gets in the van and soon discovers they have a plan in mind for her that is far worse than a regrettable night of drunken debauchery. They bring her to a spring in the town that, according to popular wisdom, may or may not be a portal to Hell. Once there they tie her up and, thinking her a virgin, they sacrifice her to Satan in exchange for worldly success. Which is quite clever, really, treating struggling indie rock groups as the morally corrupt modern day Man at the Crossroads. Jennifer is not a virgin, however, and per rules of the occult, an impure sacrifice to the devil will arise again to eat of the flesh of the living. Her cut of choice is high school boys. One after another she seduces them, only to bare her teeth and devour them for the act of consummation. She keeps making appearances to Needy, covered in blood and acting generally possessed. Needy watches these alarming changes in her friend, in and out of school, and keeps giving her the benefit of the doubt, always trying to understand and never putting 2 and 2 together. This overlooked bit of logic is the most bizarre part of the movie. More than once she sees Jennifer covered in blood and acting like Linda Blair in ‘The Exorcist,’ and yet she doesn’t appear to make the connection between her friend and the murders (the aftermath of which look like “lasagna with teeth”) in this very small town. It’s not clear if this is the fault of the writer, the director, or both. Neither one emerges from this unscathed. Diablo Cody, the writer, writes a very particular style of dialogue that is neither realistic nor witty, though it tries to be both. There is no spark of life in the teenager’s repartee; “Grassy-ass” Needy says to a Latino orderly in place of “Thank You”; “You’ve been giving me a ‘wetty’ all year” says Jennifer to a goth-boy she’s trying to entice back to her layer — Ok that one’s pretty good…I don’t know, if you’ve seen ‘Juno’ you know what I mean. The director, Karyn Kusama, butchers the movie wherever she can find the leeway. I wouldn’t say that her stylized direction is all style and no substance. It’s more along the lines of tone-deaf and not seeing the forest for the trees. There are serious pacing problems. The recent deaths in the town create a backdrop of trauma within which the story operates and attains atmosphere. But she ruins this by ignoring establishment of mood, and relegating the build-up and come-down of scenes to about two seconds tacked on to their beginnings and ends. Diablo Cody is kind of a glorified sitcom writer, but all the more charming for it. Kusama, on the other hand, is a true hack, who should be relegated to directing sitcoms on a sound stage in Studio City. ‘Jennifer’s Body’ is basically a horror movie with some humor that emerges particularly if looked at with an ironic eye. I’m not sure why now, but I was definitely expecting more camp. As it is, I’m glad it didn’t overindulge in that aspect of horror-sex comedies and unapologetically took itself seriously most of the time. Still, most viewers will bring an awareness of the genre clichés, and while this adds another layer of viewing, it also necessarily undermines the drama and thriller aspects. Such are the perils of the terrain. Finally, the actors are decent enough in their roles, if a bit miscast. I don’t care if they’re a mere 23 years young. They still look too old to be in high school. Amanda Seyfried inhabits Needy convincingly enough, but she comes across as too self-possessed, likely a feature of her age and, ahem, rather fecund beauty. Megan Fox plays the man-eater part very well, but we’ve seen her as that character before. In each of her roles so far, she’s had moments where her true range shines through, and I’m convinced that if she would only take better parts she could become the best actress of her generation. But what am I, her agent? As it is, not even her substantial luminosity can save ‘Jennifer’s Body’ from its fate: Which is for it to be tossed into the pile of forgotten films, representative of their era, but of almost no interest to future movie fans. Too bad it’s mediocre, because it had the potential to be good. It’s like the sum of its parts overwhelmed the fragile frame and it collapsed under its own weight.
Chiamatemi scemo, chiamatemi ignorante, ma io non sapevo assolutamente chi fosse…
Adesso, grazie a Popslut ed il suo Lunedì popslutter, lo conosco ed è stato un colpo di fulmine. Secondo Wikipedia è un “attore e sceneggiatore italiano, che lavora inolte come modello e web designer”, secondo me è un bellissimo trentenne un filino orso ed un tantino manzo.
Certo, è vero che ha esordito proprio come attore e sceneggiatore in “Ciao“, film indipendente del 2008, e guardando il suo sito, si vede che ha fatto anche dei bellissimi lavori per vari marchi.
Però non mi dite che è la prima cosa che avete notato…
Gossip singer Beth Ditto has told her girlfriend Freddie that she cannot accompany her on her UK Tour in November this year.
Ditto who is believed to have been in a relationship with Freddie for the last 8 years, has said the ban is because she wants to protect the woman she loves from the onslaught of the UK Press.
“[It's] not because I don’t think she can handle it, but because that’s my life,” reports Contactmusic.com. “Say what you want about me. Say it to my face, say it behind my back, write it on the fucking bathroom mirror, I don’t care. But do not talk about the people I love. I will lose my mind.”
Ditto made claims that The Mirror went all the way to Arkansas just to find her Dads phone number, she was furious and refused to allow another member of her family to be affected by her fame or the overimposing UK press.
Sucks to be famous. I think Ditto is one of the only celebs with a firm grasp on exactly what the media is for. She gives them what they want and then some. Keeping their cameras off her family shouldn’t be too big a deal right? Who wants to see what her GF looks like anyway? Seriously? I couldn’t give a sh*t, and speak to her Dad, what for?
Only problem is Ditto, once you say ‘No’ they get more money for their shots, she’s going to get hounded, you might have to lock her in room.
Thats right all you loyal Bones fans! Our beloved show returns to the little screen, TOMORROW at 8/7c. Are you excited? I know I am. I have been waiting since the season finale of season 4 for it to start back up. It may be hard to pinpoint the exact thing that gives Bones its spark. Is it the witty dialogue? The all-star cast? Or the edgy topics? Or is the perfection combination of all those things that makes this show so enjoyable? Either way, there is no doubt in my mind that season 5 will not let you down.
Bones
And, after my exclusive preview of an upcoming episode in Season 5 I have to tell you it does not disappoint. As a lucky chosen individual I was privy to an invitation only screening of new episode. It wasn’t the season premiere so don’t all hate me – it was a later episode in the season. Also, because it is unreleased I can’t say what necessarily happens or when it will be shown in this season’s line up, BUT I can tell you that this might be the best season so far! Everything looks very modern, and - though I love Temperance’s style it’s much more sophisticated looking this season. So what are you looking forward to this season? Anything you definitely want to see? Or DON’T want to see for that matter? Here’s some of my ideas!
MORE Zach Addy! I miss him so much! I was not happy with how they dealt with his character, I don’t think he ever should have been removed from “the lab team”. I know Goodman was just an administrator so I got over that you let him go, but Zach was a permanent fixture pretty much, until they axed him – I don’t know if I’ll get over it. Ha.
Zack Addy
No more lesbian Angela. Nothing against lesbians, I promise it’s not about that. But now that Angela and Hodgins aren’t together they made her character so dark and whiney. I don’t like it. Now, I know they do a little “get together” here and there towards the end of season 4 which was good, but either have her get some hottie boyfriend, or put her back with Hodgins! I want a happy Angela!
Stephen Fry as Gordon (Gordon) Wyatt
Bring back Gordon Gordon! He was hilarious and I like that he gave us an insight into some of the darker sides of Dr. Sweets! He plays like an older father figure to pretty much any on the show that will let him and he really helped give comic relief in some of the more morbid episode. PLUS, he’s english and I can’t get enough of that accent!
I WANNA SEE HODGINS’ HOUSE! We found out that he was SUPER rich in the “buried alive” episode (which is on of my favorites by the way) yet we never really see anything about his money. I mean supposedly he is so rich that his “Cantileever group” pretty much owns everything – maybe even some of the Jeffersonian? Who knows! But if they have Hodgins throw a birthday party or something cheesy like that then maybe we can get a little sneaky peak into his house and they better show us a big ole’ mansion. I want to see like literally money growing on trees – right next o the tennis courts and the olympic sized pool.
Need I say more?? Yeah - Didn't think so.
More naked Booth. We got a little taste of him when Brennan busted into his bathroom and stuff, but that was mild at best. Then a few shots here and there when he was hooking up with Rebecca, then Cam – those were good starts. But a girl can’t survive on 3-4 episode alone okay?? Show me the money!! Ha
From what I’ve seen so far, we might be in for some big surprises and changes. Will you love them or hate them – I do not know, but tell me your suggestion and ideas for the next seasons and what you liked and didn’t like from the last seasons! I want to know!
P.S. If your totally lost on what I’m talking about and need to catch up (or just watch the show period) here are some links to websites that have the shows on demand! YOUR WELCOME.
P.P.S. Your welcome again for that David Boreanaz picture I’m sure many of you will be adding him to your desktop screen now – So your welcome for that too! Ha.
Police in Papua New Guinea are hunting the leader of a cult who promised villagers a bumper banana harvest if they had sex in public.
The man and his followers fled naked into the wilderness when police tried to arrest them at the weekend, the Post Courier newspaper reported.
It said the villagers in Morobe province had been promised their banana harvest would increase 10-fold every time they had sex in public.
It said the cult leader was wanted for a range of alleged offences over the past four months, including threatening people and illegal sexual activity.
Inspector Adam Busil said officers had surrounded the man’s hut but he refused to come out. The suspect then made a dash for freedom with about seven naked followers.
“He used his two wives as a human shield to avoid being shot at by the policemen,” he said. “They were called on to surrender but they refused.”
Burly builders fled when a naked blonde rushed at them on a construction site in the Austrian capital Vienna shouting: “Who wants me?”
The hard-hat hunks ran for cover when the woman turned the tables on them on the building site beside the city’s main railway station.
“We like to chat up girls as they walk past – it’s a tradition,” said one builder.
“But this woman was too much to handle and we just ran and hid until the police got here. No-one liked to think what would happen if she caught one of us,” he added.
Police spokesman Mario Hejl said: “It turned out no-one wanted her. The woman was detained and was put under a doctor’s care.”
This very sexy redhead girls with pretty big blue eyes takes a visit to a resort area, and is horny enough to get herself aroused right there! Pulling her pants down, she starts fingering herself, and almost orgasms until there is a hotel employee who catches her in the act. Back indoors, she fingers herself while looking at the mirror, until she has a nice natural orgasm.
She gets playful in the car, rubbing herself again, then finds a spot to show us that she can fist herself! Completely naked, she puts her whole hand in, then fingers herself again to a second orgasm.
I got some enquiries about the Macross Flashback 2012 gallery, actually its a single episode recap from the Super Dimension Fortress Macross : Do You Remember Love? movie.
16 new galleries have been updated, hop over to the PANDORA BOX MEGA LIST for them. Look out for titles with the NEW tag. List includes :
Tequila, 27, signed a citizen’s arrest warrant, charging Merriman with battery and false imprisonment, San Diego County Sheriff’s Lt. Gary Steadman said.
Both are felonies.
Deputies responded about 3:45 a.m. to Merriman’s house in Poway, north of San Diego, after a woman called to say she was choked by the player and thrown to the ground when she tried to leave, Sheriff’s Department spokesman Jan Caldwell said at a news conference.
Merriman’s attorney, Todd Macaluso, disputed Tequila’s story and said he’s confident Merriman won’t be charged by the District Attorney’s Office.
“There was absolutely no wrongdoing on the part of Mr. Merriman,” Macaluso told The Associated Press by phone. “He essentially was doing what was appropriate under the circumstances in trying to protect the safety of Miss Tequila. There were numerous eyewitnesses that will support his version of the events that transpired at his home.”
Merriman, 25, was taken into custody and booked into the central jail at about 8:30 a.m. He was released shortly after 11 a.m.
Merriman didn’t return two e-mails seeking comment. His agent, Tom Condon, said he hadn’t heard about the arrest when contacted by The Associated Press.
There had been considerable Twitter chatter between Tequila and Merriman during the last two months. She tweeted several times about going to the Chargers’ game Friday night and a party she held afterward at a downtown club, including:
_ “Im the Head Cheerleader Prom Queen and (at)shawnemerriman is the Prom King! hahaha! LETS GOOO! LIGHTS OUT! SAN DIEGO I WILL SEE U TOMORROW!”
Merriman was the 12th overall pick out of Maryland in the 2005 draft, and had 39 1/2 sacks in his first three seasons. The three-time Pro Bowl selection has been getting back into shape after missing nearly all of last season following knee surgery.
The Chargers, picked by some as Super Bowl favorites, open the regular season a week from Monday night at Oakland. Players had been off since after Friday night’s exhibition finale against San Francisco. They are due back at practice on Monday.
“It’s disappointing to hear about the issue involving Shawne Merriman,” Chargers general manager A.J. Smith said in statement. “We’ll continue to monitor the situation and let the legal process run its course.”
Smith didn’t return a call seeking further comment.
Smith often speaks of signing “character” players, yet the Chargers have had their share of embarrassing off-field problems in recent seasons.
Sun-scorched and well-cured, I awoke on an unfamiliar shore under unfamiliar skies. My senses were flooded with uncertainty. I wouldn’t have bet a dollar on where I had washed up, let alone who I was supposed to be. The salty ocean waters had smoothed my mind like a pebble until only a well-worn sense of self remained.
First, I opened my mouth; I expunged a conglomeration of seawater and sandy bits. Tiny crystals stuck to my tongue as I continued to vomit dry air. My nose was flooded, too. The mud in my nostrils flew out with a quick sneeze.
Next on my agenda was finding my limbs; I couldn’t feel a thing where I thought they should be. My propioception wasn’t working, but I willed myself to motion without it. My fingers began to tingle, somewhere to my sides. They were trapped under moist layers of beach.
I flexed and I flexed, with all my might, until the strength returned to my hands. I kept willing myself to life, animating my arms, my legs, my feet, and my torso. All my pieces worked in tandem, digging my body out of the grimy tomb where it had been buried.
Finally, my corpse free once more, I pushed myself onto my back and opened my sandy eyes.
The sky was aflame in a riot of colors; golden ambers clashed with murky blues. The sun sat lazily on the edge of the horizon, a great fiery yacht falling off the edge of the world. I was unsure whether it was coming or going, but the cool sand beneath my back gave me hope it was the former.
Vestiges of constellations lingered in the sky; nothing was familiar. I saw no swans, no scorpions, and no ladles of soup. I thought it strange to look for such icons in the sky; the fact that they weren’t there upset me, nonetheless.
There wasn’t a soul in sight or sound, but I could tell without fear that I wasn’t alone. The land was throbbing with life; its pulse traveled through the well-packed sands, permeating my weary bones. It drove me to stand and move, beating a foreign rhythm in my stringent heart.
Gazing inland, I saw topography unlike any I could have possibly imagined. I saw a bright blue mountain penetrate the sky, disappearing behind a veil of serpentine clouds. Near its base, the peak suddenly dropped away into excitedly purple crags. An impossibly lush forest crawled up to the foot of the cliffs. Hundreds of species of trees and plants were growing together in harmony; their leaves ranged from aquamarine to emerald to ruby, creating a thick mosaic of foliage.
Adorning the mountain and permeating the forest was a thick, sepia mist; the way it settled so casually made me feel it was a sinister beast, daring me to brave its lair. The rising warmth behind me told me that it would soon burn away, but I did not trust myself to return from a journey into the forest at this juncture.
Instead, I listened to the rhythm of the sand and traveled along the beach. I slowly moved south, every step a rediscovery of myself. I would have sworn that some devil had broken off my original limbs and reattached a new pair from a popular rag doll. My feet felt the vibrations between every grain of sand grinding against each other. The pulses and waves made their way up into my belly as I realized the depths of my hunger.
It felt as though my stomach had appeared out of nowhere, desperately begging for donations. I looked down to see a sunken gut, slightly distended. The ripples of its desire spread through my body, its desperation manifesting as unbearable pain and upset yowls; I doubled over, falling to my tender knees.
Food had suddenly become an inimitable priority.
A second wind lifted my legs, as the pulse of the sands intensified. In the distance, I could see a small shelter on the sea’s edge; a small dock nearby indicated habitation. I dragged myself onward, never quite running, never quite falling.
The brown speck loomed ever closer, slowly congealing into the shape of a beach shack. Weatherbeaten and rickety, it looked hardly more than a outhouse from the outside. The dock was abandoned; I feared that this shack would be just as desolate. I crept closer and knocked on the shabby door, taking care not to destroy the whole abode.
“Hello, is there anybody home?”
I waited for several minutes, but found no reply.
Mustering all the courage my hungry bones could manage, I grabbed the door handle and slowly pushed the entrance open. I couldn’t believe my eyes.
The inside of the shack belonged to a much grander quarter. My mind briefly shorted while trying to fit the large room inside the tiny shack, but my attention was quickly drawn elsewhere. Three walls were lined with shelves packed with odds and ends. Books and bottles and bouncing bears, each owned a third of the room. The fourth wall, opposite the entrance, had a full hearth, subtly illuminating the room. A table at the center of the space was covered in a holey, maroon tablecloth; a great wooden chair sat slightly open to the table. All of this was lost to me.
The only sight for my sore eyes was the bowl of ripe fruit sitting staunchly in the middle of the table. My mouth began to water and my stomach churned and yearned. Without pausing to think, I lunged at the table and began stuffing my face with juicy fruit-flesh.
The fruits were unfamiliar to my eyes, but they were ecstasy for my tongue. Layers of flavors spilled their stories down my gullet, abating my stomach’s pain through their charming delicacy. I swallowed four, five, six fruit in as many minutes, devouring their seeds and stems without a second thought. Orange, cyan, silver, viridian, a culinary rainbow mixed in my gut.
I gulped and glutted until the bowl was empty. Completely sated, my stomach began to relax. I looked down to find it had swelled up to beyond its normal size. My skin was shining brightly, reflecting my inner happiness. As my thoughts slowly peeled away from food, a thundering crash brought me to my feet.
I spun and leapt from the chair. In the doorway loomed a monstrous shadow, buttressed by flares of light from the rising sun. Horrible thoughts vibrated my core. A beast of the darkness had risen from the ocean’s depths, determined to drag me back beneath the ocean waves!
I quickly grabbed the only weapon I could see, the fruit bowl.
“Stay back, fiend! I will not be drowned again!”
“Oh, stop that silliness, young thing. Harrumph!” the shadow bellowed. “Id’a eaten you already if I’d had a mind to.”
The shadow stepped forward, pulling its mass out of the outside light. As its face came forward into the smoother hearth light, its terrible identity was revealed.
A sharp beak protruded from a mass of sunburned, pink flesh which I assumed might be a head. It looked more like a mound of silly putty with two devilish red eyes buried in it. The blob attached by a long, soft neck to a humungous body covered in black feathers; the massive body was supported by a pair of elephantine talons.
Despite the creature’s words, I raised my bowl in defense.
“I refute you, sea-“ I paused, confused. “Erm, stop now, sky devil!”
“Oh, stop it already. Didn’t you hear me?” The great avian shuffled around me and made his way to the fire. “Harrumph! The least you could have done is put another log on the fire.”
He lifted a log from the corner of the room and placed it into the fire. Sparks danced and a flume of smoke wound its way up the shack to a pinhole chimney in the roof. For such a small hole, it sucked the fumes away extremely quickly.
“I’m sorry,” I said, “I didn’t notice the logs there until now.”
The bird shook his head. “Please, don’t worry about it. This is my home, after all. I do know all its little secrets. I can’t expect a stranger to know his way around. Harrumph!”
I felt terribly embarrassed. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t even think about what I was doing. I was so hungry, I never stopped to ponder the consequences. Please forgive me.”
The bird shook his bulbous head. “It’s fine. I always welcome company. The shore can surely be a lonely place sometimes. The name’s Hammond, by the way. What’s yours?”
I nodded politely. “Nice to meet you, Hammond. I’m not exactly sure what my name is, to tell the truth.”
This fact stunned the bird. “What? Harrumph! You can’t remember your name? That’s unfortunate. A true tragedy. Do you remember anything at all?”
“Not specifically. I mean, some things make sense to me. I’ve got my words, when I need them. Well, sometimes. It’s facts and names that are hard to place.”
Hammond bobbed his cranium rapidly. “Harrumph! Conditional amnesia, I think I’ve heard of this before. How did you get to the island, little earthbound beast?”
“I washed up on the shore, pure as the day I was born.”
This answer pleased the bird. “Yes! I knew it. This happens to all the beasts that come in that way. There must be something in the water, yes! Harrumph! That must be it!”
“Um, Hammond, I’m a bit confused. First of all, how did you get here?”
“Well, I flew, of course.”
“Of course, my brain must still be waterlogged. Does that mean you could fly away? Back to wherever you came from?”
“Yes,” Hammond agreed, “I suppose it does. However, I’m not so sure where it is. Harrumph! Or, I suppose, if I would even want to go back. This is quite the nice island, if I do say so myself.”
“Does it have a name?”
“It has many different names, depending on who you ask. I like to call it the Roundabout. But, nobody values the opinions of an old fart like me anymore. Harrumph!”
I nodded, unsure whether or not the bird was being sarcastic. “So there are other people on this island? Err, other creatures.”
“Of course! What kind of backwater atoll do you think this is? Some folks wash up on the shore, just like you. Harrumph! Some folks come from the sky, like me. They’re all scattered about, more inland. Apparently, I’m the only one who can’t get enough of the shore.”
“Why’s that?”
“I guess I’m just that type of bird.”
“What kind of bird is that?”
His ruby eyes glinted with pride. “I, good lad, am an egress.”
“An egress? Really? That doesn’t feel right.”
Hammond placed the mid of his wings where his hips might have gone. “Oh, really? Then why’d you bother asking? Harrumph! You don’t even know your name, but suddenly you’re an expert on birds?”
“No, I didn’t mean that. It’s just that, when I think egress, I don’t think of you.”
“Well, that’s a whole lot clearer, young man. Remember, whatever qualities you ascribed to an egress where you’re from don’t apply here. I am an egress on this island, and that is what really matters here. You’d do well not to forget that rule.”
“Are there other folks like you on this island? Other egresses?”
“Oh sure, I talk to them all the time. Me and the other egresses, we flock together like birds of a feather. Is that what you want to hear? Harrumph! No, boy. That’s highly offensive and racist of you. Don’t just assume things about other folk. That’s how prejudice gets born and spread!”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean… I just wanted to know if there were other people on the island.”
“Oh, you mean people like you? Other little naked racists?”
Why, of course! It hadn’t occurred to me before now, but I was entirely indecent. The ocean had swallowed my clothes, but spat me out due to my lack of flavor. I quickly covered myself with the empty fruit bowl as my cheeks flushed.
“I’m so, sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude.”
Hammond seemed puzzled by my words. “Don’t be so uptight, boy. I’m only teasing. It’s not like I’m wearing any pants.”
I quickly noted this fact and tried to keep my eyes on his pudgy face. “That is true, but I’m still a bit embarrassed.”
The bird nodded. “Don’t worry about it. The other little racist I met was the same way, for a while.” He shuffled over to the shelf of stuffed bears and took one down.
“Wait a second. You mean there are others like me here?”
Hammond turned and dropped a pile of clothing on the table. “Put those on. And no, I don’t mean there are others of your kind here. Wingless folk don’t seem to stick around on the island too long. Harrumph. There was one like you, a long time ago. He gave me those clothes for my collection. Said he wanted me to remember him forever.”
“Where is he now?”
The bird shrugged. “He made a raft and took off on a quest for adventure. He disappeared over the horizon, last I saw. Took himself and his hairy, racist body far, far away.”
I had carefully slipped on the clothing during our conversation. I was now wearing a green, leather jacket with bright purple pants; they fit me perfectly. My curiosity could hardly contain itself. “He disappeared into the sea? He didn’t happen to look like me, did he?”
Hammond shook his head. “No, not a tic. Harrumph! He was a big, dark, muscular chap with sandy golden hair. He was nothing like you, shrimp. Harrumph! I bet you couldn’t even lift the trees he used to make his raft.”
I wasn’t convinced. “If he’s so much bigger than me, why do his clothes fit me perfectly?”
The bird shook his head. “Must be the salty sea air. It does that, you know. It’s been years since that boy left.” That was all Hammond would say about the matter of the boy or his raft.
“Well, Mr. Egress, I’m really grateful for your hospitality. I don’t feel particularly welcome taking all this charity. I ate your food and I’m wearing your bear’s outfit. Surely, there must be something I can do to repay you.”
Hammond’s beak popped wide. “Ah, yes! My fruit, I’d completely forgotten you ate them all. Now that you mention it, I’m quite ravished.” His crimson bird-eyes flared hungrily. “Yes, I think that would be the perfect task for you. Go refill my bowl with fruit from the grove out back. It’s a short ways into the forest.”
I nodded; this seemed more than fair. “Just straight into the forest.”
“Yep, just a few hundred yards.”
“A few hundred yards! That’s hardly a short ways. I’ll get lost, for certain.”
“Harrumph!” Hammond sighed. “No, you won’t. Just be sure to make it back by sundown and you’ll be fine. It’s a straight walk I promise.”
Suddenly, I felt less sure about my companion’s intentions. “Do you promise? On threat of death?”
The giant bird made some noise that resembled laughter, but was more akin to pebbles being tossed about a laundry machine. “I promise. But do be careful of the mists. Bad things lurk in the mists, if you catch my drift. Harrumph! Make it a point to get back here by nightfall and you’ll have no trouble.”
He flexed his beak into a smile. “No trouble at all.”
Today we went to our local nude beach with a friend of ours for her first nudist experience. The weather was warm, the sun was shining, there was only a light breeze, and the water was clear (though a bit chilly).
When we first arrived there was already a lot of people on the beach but we managed to find a nice spot near the water. I stripped down as soon as we set up camp but my wife and our friend (I’ll call her Sarah) kept their swimsuits on at first. After we had a picnic lunch, my wife took her top off to sunbathe her upper body properly. Sarah kept her top on a lot longer, we could tell she was a bit nervous, especially since more and more people were coming onto the beach. Eventually she decided to go through with it and took it off too and really began to enjoy herself. When you’re spending your time trying to decide whether or not you want to take your clothes off at a nude beach, feeling anxious about exposing your body you enjoy yourself less than if you simply bite the bullet, take it off, and realize that it’s not bad at all.
We went swimming a few times, the first time I was nude, my wife was topless, and Sarah was wearing her whole suit. The last time we went in we were all naked, enjoying ourselves and the water. This was probably the best time we had swimming of them all. Once the suits come off everyone is free to act as unihibited as they’d like, having a good time without care or worry. It was all just innocent fun, free of bathing suits and social barriers between people.
Everyone had a good time today, especially once they began to relax and take of their bathing suits. When you’ve shown yourself to your friends like that and realized that they don’t judge your body, they don’t stare or gawk at your ‘private’ places, they don’t sexualize your body, they simply accept all of you for who you are without criticism, it’s much easier to be open and intimate with them on other levels.
“A man who stood naked on a Trafalgar Square plinth was not breaking the law say police, so when does being naked in public become a crime?”
Retrieved on 6 September 2009 from http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/8235959.stm
Nothing profound here, but I’ve always been fascinated at the idea that we all carry moral A-bombs under our clothes, that nothing but thin layers of fabric come between our youth and moral turpitude. Quite the thought, isn’t it? Some would have you believe that you can fuck a kid up for life just by showing him your tits.
The gal and I have been getting out to the nude beach a few times this summer and enjoying the simple liberty of being naked in public. Strange to think that, being as naked as we were a couple hundred metres to the right, we would have been breaking the law.
Naked American men announce the return of the Jedi.
Police were called to Mountain View Drive, in Kitsap, America, early Friday to investigate reports of intoxicated men urinating on cars.
While officers were en route, the men allegedly got undressed.
Witnesses said one was completely naked, one wasn’t wearing any pants and they couldn’t see the third man because the other two were on top of him, they said. The witnesses said they heard somebody yell “Return of the Jedi” while the three were naked and entwined.
When officers arrived, they found three men — a 29-year-old and two 23-year-olds — on a porch. All appeared to be drunk. They were surrounded by empty alcohol bottles, according to the police report. All denied they had been involved in the incident.
“We’ve got our clothes on, must not have been us,” one said.
Witnesses identified the three as the men who had been causing the disturbance.
A report was forwarded to the prosecutor to review charges of lewd conduct.
